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dinlo 2006-12-28 21:14

F.3-ENG(News Comment)

請幫幫手
睇吓有冇d咩大問題

則報紙
The city's elderly are being invited to go back to school to discover the fun of learning, in the words of the government. Their teachers will include primary and secondary school pupils. Elderly learning centres - one for each of the city's 18 districts, and each able to accommodate 100 pupils - will be set up at primary or secondary schools under a pilot scheme. Each school will receive HK$50,000 to help with the cost of installing more elderly-friendly facilities. The centres will offer classes in subjects including computing, Chinese literature and interpersonal communication. Sessions on improving personal health will be mandatory. Alfred Chan Cheung-ming, vice-chairman of the Elderly Commission, said the pilot project would help young and old alike. It is more like a cross-generational school than a one-way teaching programme, he said. We are planning to match two pupils with one elderly person for mutual communication. The health course had been specially designed by the Department of Health, Professor Chan said. Its intention was to provide tips on how to stay fit and healthy. The Elderly Commission will consider the scheme further next month, and the government will begin accepting applications from schools a month later. The centres are expected to open in March or April. Commission chairman Leong Che-hung said the scheme was open to all schools. This is a good example of how to take full advantage of the education resources within the community, he said.



以下係我既感賞
The news was chosen from the SCMP, 14th December. The topic is ‘Elderly invited back into the classroom’.
The city’s elderly are being invited to go back to school to “discover the fun of learning”, in the words of the government. Some primary and secondary school students will also be invited to be the teachers. Elderly can learn calculating, Chinese literature, interpersonal communication and how to improve personal health.
This is a extremely good opportunity for elderly. Most of the elderly don’t have a chance for studying while they were young. I think that they are willing to have the lessons.
I think the most important parts in the lesson are about interpersonal communication and healthy. Most of the elderly don’t have a good relationship with teens and family members. Mainly is due to the problem of communication. In the lessons, teachers may teach elderly how to build up a good communication stage with family. Also, elderly health becomes worse and worse, so they need to learn how to keep strong. In the lesson, they may learn some exercise or some healthy recipe.
By the way, I have one suggestion that is the usage of computer. Being very popular, computer is also very useful. They may use computer for sending E-mail for their family members who live in other place.
Let’s tell them about this good news and ask them to join it.

BBF 2006-12-28 21:26
Which problem?
English or content?

Do you get the format of "News comment" from teacher?

========================================

each para. should contain its own idea.
You can make a clear sentance (topic sentence) at the first, the purpose is to let the reader know what you are talking about in this para.

Firstly / Secondly/ Finally/ Be the way, these word can let reader know you start to talk another point. Moreover, the structure is better.

========================================

Just a suggestion below:

1: Source

2: The main idea of the article is to invited the elderly to learn more information. .... repeat the main content in the article...

3: Firstly, the activity can improve interpersonal communication. ... Explain your point.

4: Secondly, we can teach the elderly the health tip. ... Explain your point.

5: Finally, the elderly can learn more about the latest knowledge. ... Explain your point.

6: By the way, I have one suggestion. It is XXX. .... Explain your point.

7: To sum up, ..... make a summary. ... State clear you support or not.

(1) & (2) may be in the same para.

You can give some real situation example for supporting your point.
Your suggestion is acceptable. But I wonder if they (low education level) could learn typing (chinese/english) within 2 months. You can suggest an easy-study subject and be applicable. For example, teach them to read the label on food package. simple first aid to take care themself. To remove their wong concept.

2006-12-28 22:53
講真,我間學校真係太差,中3未做咁既水準

我地通常呢D野都係150字

BBF 2006-12-28 23:09
引用第2樓2006-12-28 22:53發表的“”:
講真,我間學校真係太差,中3未做咁既水準 [表情]
我地通常呢D野都係150字


我中5都未寫到咁o既水準

dinlo 2006-12-30 20:35
引用第1樓ballballfull2006-12-28 21:26發表的“”:
Which problem?
English or content?
Do you get the format of "News comment" from teacher?
.......


THX

tsang0701 2006-12-31 19:02
你有冇用 yahoo 個字典架

你識咁多生字既

CxRonaldoNo7 2006-12-31 20:00
引用第3樓ballballfull2006-12-28 23:09發表的“”:
我中5都未寫到咁o既水準 [表情]

我中六都未寫到

聰明豆 2007-01-02 22:38
引用第6樓CxRonaldoNo72006-12-31 20:00發表的“”:
我中六都未寫到 [表情]

中七畢業都未必需要做到咁

dinlo 2007-01-03 11:43
引用第5樓tsang07012006-12-31 19:02發表的“”:
你有冇用 yahoo 個字典架
你識咁多生字既 [表情]


無呀
有d起上面抄

BBF 2007-01-03 12:50
引用第8樓dinlo2007-01-03 11:43發表的“”:
無呀
有d起上面抄


仲呀,仲有一點。
如果可以就唔好直抄原文
(直抄原文應該有句野要寫明)
可能試下用自己文字已少少
如果全句直抄唔係咁好

BBF 2007-01-03 19:50
Advance technique for writing (using outside source)
--------------------------------------------------

Paraphrase (Write it in Your Own Words)

Paraphrasing means rewriting a passage into your own words and sentence structure. A paraphrase should accurately reflect all the main and supporting ideas of the original author and it should not include your own opinions or slant on what the original author wrote.


Occasionally it is impossible to find a better word than the one the author has used to express a meaning. If you come across this situation, by all means, quote the words you need to use within the paraphrase itself. Remember that a paraphrase should not include your own comments or critique of what the author has said and that a paraphrase must be cited as it is not your own idea. It is a rewording of the author's original ideas and as such needs to be documented.

Paraphrasing can be very useful when you need to reword a technical passage into language your reader will understand or when you need to ensure that your style of writing will not be "interrupted" by just quoting a passage verbatim into your writing. If you find yourself paraphrasing long passages, you need to ask yourself whether the passage could be summarised instead.

The following steps can be used when paraphrasing:

Read the passage and make sure you understand it.
Think clearly about why you want to incorporate the passage into your own writing.
Take notes of key words from the passage (e.g., content words such as nouns and verbs).
As you are taking notes, substitute the author's words with your own. Put quotation marks around any word you note down verbatim.
As you are taking notes, do not pay too much regard for any particular order of presentation. If you do use linear notes from the original source you might just imitate the author's same ordering of information.
Allow for a little time to go by and put aside the original text.
Consulting only your word notes, paraphrase the passage verbally to yourself, making sure you retain what the author was trying to express.
Write down the paraphrase as many times as you need to, and check your paraphrase over for grammatical accuracy.
Return to the text to see if you have accurately conveyed in your own words the main and supporting ideas that the author has expressed. Rewrite using the same steps if not.
Make final adjustments (e.g., adding transitional words) to the paraphrase so that it can fit in with the rest of your text.
Always document the source of the paraphrase.

來源: http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/elsc/material/Writing/using.htm#Paraphrase


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