Luis and Patrice
Look, just bloody shake hands, would you? If not for you, for me. For everyone who feels obliged to write about it because people are, despite protestations, still interested.
Please? Won't someone think of the real victims here - the journalists...
Luis Suarez
Quite apart from sideshows, Suarez's importance to this Liverpool side rocketed, from an already lofty position, after the end of the last transfer window. Sure, Raheem Sterling looks pretty spicy and Steven Gerrard can occasionally do something really special, but Liverpool's attacking options look pretty thin, particularly after their rather impressive feat of weakening their forward line in the summer.
Suarez is, by some distance, Liverpool's most threatening player, and has been a problem for United before as well - Dirk Kuyt may have scored a hat-trick at Anfield in 2011, but Suarez was the architect. Indeed, it was lost among the handshake nonsense last time out, but part of the reason for Liverpool's defeat in that game at Old Trafford was that Suarez, returning after his ban, was patently unfit. Kenny Dalglish was (understandably) desperate to get Suarez into his team, even if it meant having an under-cooked striker on the pitch.
So among this team of promising non-shavers and prospective talents, Suarez is Liverpool's 'go-to' guy, even if he doesn't score enough goals. One suspects his mentality is that of a man who won't allow outward distractions to get the best of him, and Brendan Rodgers had better hope that turns out to be the case.
Brendan Rodgers
Those Liverpool fans who have already decided - after four league games - that Rodgers is simply not good enough, may have strayed some way from reality, but even the dumbest doggies have a loud yap.
A win over Manchester United would shut them up for a bit.
