Marcus Hahnemann, kindly move to the corner of the class, stop your bawling and comfort yourself with the knowledge that, in football, there is always next week. If you are picked.
This week's number one gold star goes to Tomasz Kuszczak who entered the match at the midway point (or half-time) at St. Andrew's and made a fantastic save from a deflected shot and one late stop from a Garry O'Connor effort. He also has three z's in his name so, respect for that.
In front of him Rio Ferdinand put in a good shift for the champions with an assured defensive performance. United look a little unsure of themselves at the back but Ferdinand oozed confidence. He was well positioned on the line to clear Gary McSheffrey's header in the first half as United won 1-0 again.
Joleon Lescott showed the misfiring strikers how to do it at Goodison Park on Sunday when he struck the opening goal of the game. With chances going a begging with alarming regularity at either end, Lescott calmly headed home when opportunity knocked for him. His aerial presence at the back helped snuff out the attacking threat of Boro's front men.
Carlos Bocanegra will be happy with his day's work at Stamford Bridge as he formed part of a back four that kept club-in-crisis Chelsea at bay. The American's no-nonsense approach was just what was called for as the Cottagers spoiled the party of birthday boy Andriy Shevchenko, with the Ukranian striker booed by his own supporters.
Elano won handsome praise indeed from his manager, with Sven placing him in the rarefied company of the likes of Roberto's Mancini and Baggio after a virtuoso performance which left Newcastle reeling. Elano set up Stephen Ireland to cross for City's first goal and wrapped things up very nicely indeed with a magnificent free-kick from thirty yards out. A bit of Brazilian sunshine is lighting up this part of Manchester.
Super-sub Yossi Benayoun opened his Liverpool account with the only goal of the game at Wigan to earn Liverpool a hard-fought win. His introduction changed the match as he brought a level of class and skill which proved too much for Wigan. 'I brought him here for these kind of games,' said Rafa Benitez of the away match against the Latics. Which will doubtless please Benayoun.
Martin Petrov is proving to be a wonderful acquisition in a season of pleasant surprises for the Manchester City faithful. His searing pace is leaving Premier League defenders trailing in his wake, and on Saturday it was Steven Taylor's turn to be tormented. The Bulgarian speed merchant skinned the full-back to cross majestically for the perfectly poised Emile Mpenza to head home City's second.
David Bentley played in a more central role in Blackburn's game against Sunderland but it was normal service from the England man. He opened the scoring for Mark Hughes side (his third of the season) and responded to the constant barracking of the home crowd with a fine display.
Roque Santa Cruz has swiftly become a cult hero at Ewood Park and his strike at the Stadium of Light was his fifth goal of the season. He fired home after Craig Gordon parried Brett Emerton's shot and it was his deflected shot that presented Bentley with the chance to open the scoring.
The impact of Benjani's hat-trick in the astonishing match at Fratton Park was somewhat buried under the sheer weight of goals in their match against Reading. All three of his goals were clinically dispatched though, the pick of the bunch being his second when he skipped skip through the Reading defence before steadying himself to bury a twenty-five yard shot home.
Robin Van Persie struck the only goal of the game to give Arsenal the points at West Ham, a fixture which has proved tricky for the Gunners recently. His all round work-rate was top notch and he almost claimed a brace when his shot struck the post. His header would have pleased Arsene Wenger who had been asking for more headed goals from his team. Bit picky if you ask me, but young Robin has performed the footballing equivalent of leaving an apple on teacher's desk.
Manager of the week once again is Sven Goran-Eriksson. The wheels have yet to come off the Manchester City juggernaut and, as it gathers pace, it is evident that the Sven revolution at the City of Manchester Stadium is not a mere flash in the pan. Eriksson has City playing some great attacking football, which Newcastle couldnot deal with on Saturday, and his side should be challenging for Europe come May.